New Year, Same Me.

Snapchat improved me

My kids have gotten me onto Snapchat. So, I suck at it...forget to send things, send them to the wrong person, navigate the wrong way... I'm not a teenager anymore and the whole thing boggles me a bit. But it's a great way to connect with my three teens--especially the one in college. I was 'snapping' her on New Years Day, and one of the filters that came up said. "New Year, New Me!", all bubbly and smiley and celebratory--like it was super-cool to change everything up about my life and show it in one bizarre deer-faced picture.

Not so improved.

I cringed. Really. I should have used it and saved it and shared it here like a super-cool snappy mom, but I was so weirded out, I flipped on and forgot to send the snap in the first place. I get that the idea was to change all of those horrible things about myself...starting right then. Um, no. I am not a fan of New Year's resolutions. I've mentioned it before here on the blog, and my dislike hasn't changed. Why set yourself up with unattainable lists of distant possibilities? The NEW ME is skinny and organized and goes to the gym and has a spotless house and makes a five-layer cake every Tuesday! Even if I liked baking five-layer cakes, I could never eat the whole cake and stay skinny. ;)

I am, however, a huge fan of making goals and ATTEMPTING to stick with them, recognizing that circumstances change, and sometimes it's just not possible to reach those goals in a year.

What I also love about New Years is the opportunity a new year brings to reflect upon the previous one, and recognize just how much has been accomplished. When things get busy I forget to celebrate the smaller achievements, and they add up! 2016 was a crazy year, that's for sure, but a lot of good and exciting things happened in the many aspects of my somewhat crazy life. Here's Dunne-central's list of good things from 2016 in rough chronological order...

*Watched as the wonderful Canadian Military Wives Choir Comox celebrated it's 1 year anniversary.

*Recieved my rights back to DEPENDENT

*Published SKIN, my third novel with an amazing launch party surrounded by friends and family. 💙

*Supported my eldest daughter as she graduated High School with many awards and scholarships

Sea turtles!!

*Had an incredible family trip to Oahu for two weeks during which I had a VIP tour of the USS Stennis (aircraft carrier), swam with sea turtles and visited the Pearl Harbour memorials.

*Packed up another home, and drove for 10 days from Vancouver Island, Canada to Northern Virginia, USA--visiting Mount Rushmore, Craters of the Moon National Monument, Old Faithful and Devil's Tower.

*Dropped eldest daughter off for her first year of university (back in Canada)

Dependent: New and improved!

*Was privileged to take part in a three state west coast military tour, visiting Arizona (Grand Canyon), Nevada (Las Vegas) and California (Napa Valley and San Francisco).

*Published DEPENDENT's second edition.

*Continued work as the President of the Canadian Military Wives Choirs Association while working part-time as a physiotherapist and writing in my spare (?) time.

New Years, Ottawa

*Visited a grand total of 24 states and 3 Canadian provinces in one year--not to mention the many embassies and international events I've been privileged to attend.

*Had a wonderful New Year's Eve on Parliament Hill in Ottawa.

See? At the time, it didn't feel like I was doing that much. But as I write it down, it's like, WOW. I did all that. How did I manage to get it all done and still stay relatively sane?


2016 was a busy year. 



So now, looking ahead, I see how much can be accomplished, merely by picking small goals (publishing a new book, republishing another, enjoying our move, sucking the marrow out of life)

Just being me, without the new, is more than sufficient.

My New Years goals?  I've got four right now. Start small, right? But they are serious goals.

1. FINISH at least one manuscript. All of these crazy things have meant less time at the keyboard, difficulty focusing and difficulty putting words down on the page. I don't even care how much I write. I just need to write. At least a few days a week.

2. ORGANIZE my inbox. And my writing area. And my basement. Okay, maybe not the basement. That's hopeless. But I have over 7000 unread emails that need to go (not kidding), and I need to unsubscribe from those hotels I stayed in 8 years ago in Austria (also not kidding). And if I'm going to do goal number one, I need to have a place to work that is not looking like a disaster zone.

X-scream. Insanely
high up. Why do I do this
to myself? 

3. LIVE healthier. I know, this is bordering on the new year, new me mentioned above, but I did okay in 2016. I actually did a gym-organized health challenge last year and felt soooo much better. I don't need crazy diets, just healthier choices and a more active lifestyle. As I write this, I'm eating chips (also not kidding), so I've got a way to go.

4. SUCK the marrow out of life. It takes effort for me to leave that comfort zone and get out there and live. My comfort zone is so comfy! Why would I leave it? But 2016 has proven to me that life doesn't always turn out the way I planned, and I need to enjoy it anyway. I'm going to love more. Get up earlier. Hug my kids. Ride the roller coaster (unless it's X-scream. I'm never doing that again). Read the book. Take the chance and recognize that big changes start small.

So there you have it. New Year, same me, but with goals.

What are your New Years goals? Are you looking for a complete change? Do any of the above sound familiar? Let me know below!

Happy New Year!

Brenda

From Here (Part two)

This time of year two years ago, I was in a new place with boxes all around me, squishing a big house's contents into a much smaller military residence, and trying to support my kids as they started new schools.

Only the schools didn't open, and the kids didn't start.

Grown adults were unable to sit in a room and compromise, and their employees and their students suffered for it. I was FED UP, and I wrote this blog, stating how important that first day of school was to our military kids.

And then someone commented on said blog, implying that because I wasn't FROM HERE I didn't get an opinion.

OH. EM. GEE.

Seriously.

If you follow my blogs, you'll know I LOST IT.  What the frigging heck? Not FROM HERE? No, I'm not FROM HERE. I went against my usual rule of DO NOT ENGAGE, and responded to said comment. Nicely, of course...I AM Canadian and all. I posted my muted outrage on Facebook, and had a tremendous outpouring of support from friends and readers alike, and then posted another blog response here.

Anyway, why I've brought this moment in my blog history to the table today is that --guess what?-- my family is now in a different house, with kids in a different school (which, thank heavens, started on time), and we are all experiencing the NOT FROM HERE in a whole different way, because we actually AREN'T.  Considering several of us were born here, and we've vacationed here, lived here, worked here and played here before...it should be pretty easy to transition. But the questions outlined on my first blog are the same...only multiplied now that the kids are teens: 

"Will I like my teacher? Will I be able to play the trombone in band? Will I make the soccer team? Will I be behind or ahead in Math? Will I have too much homework? Will the kids on the bus be mean or nice? Will they tease me because I'm new? Did I get the course selections I asked for? Will I have enough time to get between classes? Are there good books in the library? 

And the most important question for kids... Will I meet a new best friend?"

Add new things like the fact that this time we are living in a city (our first in ten years), one of us is missing (off to university), American high school culture (holy cow, different), a completely new curriculum (yes, the Math is VERY different), and different brands at the grocery store (no Kinder eggs here, folks...but there's WINE) it's been an eye opener. 

via GIPHY

The good thing about this posting, though, is that it's ABOUT not being FROM HERE. We're here because we are different. We are here to learn and to share and to expand ourselves. And other than some, um...interesting political postulating (oh, boy), it's GOOD that we are here. It's exciting. It's scary. It's educational and enriching.

And we are not alone. America, like Canada, is a country of others. Especially here, in the capital region, there are many, many people not FROM HERE. 

There have already been hiccups, and we've already changed (my laid back Canadian driving skills have had to go--it's every driver for themselves on these roads), but I hope the end result will be positive. Especially once those boxes are all empty.

We'll see. I'll keep you posted.

Brenda

April: The Month of the Military Child

FIVE REASONS MILITARY CHILDREN ARE AWESOME:

About two weeks ago I had the privilege of sitting in a local elementary school, listening to children from 6th to 10th grade give speeches--in French--as part of a nationwide competition, the Concours d'Arts Oratoire, (Oratory Arts Competition). It was the district finals, and my youngest daughter, who started French Immersion in 4th grade, was one of three finalists speaking in the 8th grade group of 'early immersion' kids, kids who started French in kindergarten.

Her speech was on Les Enfants de la Militaire, basically Military Children. She spoke fluently in a language she's only known for four years, with a passion born from life in seven homes in three countries, seven schools, numerous deployments and goodbyes.

Although my French is spotty, I have to say I was so proud to listen to her speak. She answered questions--in fluent French--about what she loved about being a military child, about the Month of the Military Child, and about her reasoning behind her speech.

She won the division. (so proud!!)

And then a week later my husband received a posting message for another cross-continental, cross-border move.

There's no life like it, right?

The fact is, military kids put up with a lot. How many first and second world war children never got to meet their fathers? How many times do military kids have to say goodbye to their bestest of BFF's, because their parent has to go to a new location? Stressors abound in the military lifestyle, and often military kids endure them in silence, because that's just the way life is.

But it's not all bad. In fact, the military life is a pretty fabulous way to grow up. The flower of the military child is a dandelion, and for good reasons. They move, they set up roots, and they flourish wherever they're put. In our family we've

embraced the lifestyle, and it's made all the difference. Being a military child sets kids up for real life.

They're amazing individuals, and here's five reasons why:

1. Military children are resilient.

All of that movement, all of that change, sets kids up well for real life. Your high school friends most likely won't be there to support you through college. And jobs don't necessarily happen where you want them too. Like many things in life, the only way to learn how to adapt to new situations is to experience them--and these children experience many, many new things in their early years.

2. Military children know respect.

In a culture which demands respect, military kids learn the meaning first hand. Yes, there are exceptions to the rule (we've all met that kid), but generally military kids understand that rules are there for a reason.

3. Military children are good workers.

When my husband went away on deployment in 2010, I knew I'd need help with the day to day things or the house would slowly deteriorate around me. I set up a chore chart, with three sets of chores, rotating between the 3 kids each week. Some weeks were a little harder, some easier, but, surprisingly enough, it worked. My kids learned that if they didn't do the dishes one day, the pile would be even bigger the next. Six years later, that chore chart still exists, and although I sometimes have to prompt, they generally sort it out. It's a huge help. And skills they will need for later in life.

4. Military children are independent.

You don't have to be a teenager to know that high schools are social jungles. Walking into a new high school alone, without knowing a soul, is a seriously stressful event. But they do it. Time and again. And next year, it will be a new school, a new job, and a new team in a different place.

5. Military children have global experiences.

One of our favourite parts of being a military family is the opportunities we've had to see new places and experience new cultures. Even within Canada, things are done differently in different parts of the country. Our kids are experienced travellers, and they understand that life does not stop at the high school doors. There is so much more out there and they recognize that they've had many opportunities others don't get to experience... like learning to speak French. Or hanging out with dad at an air show. Or even going to school in a different country.

Do you know a military child? Let them know how much you appreciate their silent support.

Are you a military child? Thank you. Your service behind the scenes makes our world a better place.



Brenda

Vaccinations are a Pain

We are trying to update our vaccination records.

Trying.

To update.

Our vaccination records.

Trying.

Holy old moly.

Just looking at that declaration will give most military families stress. In fact. I discussed vaccines as one of the 7 Reason's Military Wives Out are Stressed All of the Time.

I was really keen two postings ago--gathered all of our bits of paper, tiny booklets and photocopied records and had our local public health office (which was actually NOT local, had to drive almost 45 minutes to get there..but that's a different story) update their system and print off a copy for each of the kids. This was not easy. In fact, it was so complicated that from that day on we've kept our vaccinations records in our fire-proof safe.

From there, we moved...within the same province but to a new school district. Easy, right?

WRONG. About a week into our new school year I got a nasty finger-pointing letter from the local school board saying if I didn't get our records updated (remember, they were updated) my kids would be suspended. Yup. Suspended. You'd think they would be kidding about this. But no, they are not. Ask my friend who just a week ago got a suspension letter for her kids because of the school board's vaccination clerical error.

So on top of moving stress, new job stress, new everything stress, there was the added stress of proving that yes, indeed, we are good parents and our children have had all of their required vaccinations on time. We are very pro-vaccine. Just have difficulty keeping things organized when we move every two years.

Back to our current situation. I wasn't as keen on our last move, and forgot to get an updated vaccination record as we packed five humans and one horse into a truck and trailer for a cross-continental move. My bad. Like I said, moving is stressful. I figured when the time came, it would be just a quick phone call or request. Once again, wrong (will I ever learn?). Provincial public health authorities do not talk to one another. My friend over at Canadian Army Wife blogged about this problem here. In order to access our records from our previous post, we need the doctor's notes...but the doctor has moved. Yep. No longer at that clinic.

The saga continues.

Anyway, at this point, I would just like to say that I have the most wonderful husband on the planet. 

Why? Because he has made it his job to get our records sorted out, so that I don't have to.

I love him. Do I ever. He is the best.

Now if only he could offer up his arm for the list of about four needles I need to have updated.

Alas, that is a pain I must bear myself.


Brenda