Military Monday: The Proof is in the Clematis.

My baby clematis peeking
over the fence

In our family we have a saying--well, several sayings actually--that revolve around postings/PCSs.

"I see someone I know every time I go to the grocery store...it must be time to move."

"I can't go anywhere without running into someone I know...it must be time to move."

"We've almost finished unpacking...it must be time to move."

"The bookcase is just the way I like it...it must be time to move."

"I actually feel comfortable at school...it must be time to move."

"The teachers know who I am...it must be time to move."

You get the idea.

We say these things to torture ourselves, I think. Or to make it easier when the posting message actually comes. A coping mechanism. When you move every 1-3 years, there are some things that you really come to appreciate. The simple fact that your kid's gifts in Math precede them to the next grade. The knowledge that if you needed someone, you'd have more than one person to call. The location of the very best coffeehouse in town. These are things taken for granted in other communities, but in the military community they can be a sign that you've truly settled in a place.

Spring has sprung on Vancouver Island

I love to garden, and one of my dreams is to live in a place long enough to have both an established saucer magnolia, and a full, thriving purple clematis. To date it's never happened.  Even one of the two would be nice, but as always, the magnolia just takes root...and it's time to move.

One of the first things I did last summer was plant a clematis, in hopes it would take root and grow to something fantastic while we were still here. It did well all summer, and I even saw a few blooms before the fall. Throughout our short winter, I watched it, wondering how it would fare.

And now, after a wet and dark winter, spring is here on the pacific coast. Flowers are blooming and birds are singing and last week I noticed that my Clematis plant is not only up, but it's thriving. New shoots are poking out everywhere, and it's grown tall enough to peek over our almost six foot fence.

The clematis is thriving...it must be time to move, right?

Yup. Our posting message came the next day.

And so, the clematis has spoken.  The Dunne family are on the move this summer, this time to the Eastern US.

As much as the upcoming post is exciting, I'll be sad to leave my little clematis plant to fend for itself. Who knows, maybe our next house will have one to take it's place.

And a magnolia too.

Brenda

Like this post? Check out my other posts on 'Posting Phases:Orders, or Season of See-You-Later.

A Day Off

It’s Monday. My schedule is flexible—changing every week—but for this week, Monday means a day off.

“Lucky you,” you say. “I never get a day off!”

Well, believe me, you have my sympathy and utmost respect. I applaud any parent who can manage to keep their house from self-destructing whilst working full time. I don’t know how you do it. Seriously, I don’t.

As for me, I work part-time so that I can manage the day-to-day life of a military family with teens (hubby is away…frequently), but really, my days off are supposed to be writing days. 

With two published books and numerous manuscripts in various stages of completion, I still cringe inside when I call myself a writer, but in reality being a writer is a job. A career. Some extremely fortunate people get to write full time. I am not one of those fortunate people (YET) so for now, my days off are technically working days, just with a different career path. Days off are days supposed to be spent in my favourite writing spot, hammering away at the keyboard while building worlds and creating magic. Days off are creative days, quiet days, productive days while the kids are at school, hubby is at work and my mind has a few blissful hours to focus on the screen in front of me.

Ha ha ha ha.  HA! HA!

Lets just take a look at how today started out...

Yell at kids to get their butts in the car. Frantically make coffee because I NEED CAFFEINE. Dishwasher full of clean dishes, countertop full of dirty dishes. Scrounge to find a cup. Pour coffee. Discover there is no milk to put in coffee. Yell at kids to get in car.  Skip breakfast—no milk for cereal. Too late for toast.

Take milk-less coffee with me. Drop kids at schools. Go to grocery store to get milk. Spend an hour in grocery store because I need a meal plan to get me through a crazy week. Buy a gazillion dollars worth of food. Light goes on in car—need gas. Stop to get gas. Drive home. Start putting groceries away, fridge is too full of last weeks leftovers. Empty fridge of science experiments to make room. Garbage is full. Empty garbage and put in new bag. Pantry is full of empty boxes, dismantle boxes and put in recycling, but recycling is overflowing so empty that. Put away rest of groceries.

Realize my coffee is cold. Make new coffee and leave sitting on counter. Try to find a recipe for chicken-creamy-something-put-it-all-in-a-crock-pot-and-leave-it so I can at least get an hour or two of writing done before kids need to be picked up. Give up on recipe books and find something on pinterest in ten seconds. Chop and dump and put nutritious food in crock-pot.  No space, so empty dishwasher and refill it first. Finish crock-pot meal prep. Realize coffee is cold. Nuke it in the microwave.

Remember that kid needs gym clothes washed. Reset laundry that I washed yesterday because it’s been sitting there overnight and has a bit of a smell (I have a thing with smelly laundry...). Trip over cat. Feed cat. Realize dog is outside in the rain. Let dog in and dry his muddy, disgusting paws.

Remember coffee is still in the microwave, cold. Nuke it again.

Sit down for two seconds to take a breath and realize I don’t have coffee. Go to get coffee. Look at the clock and realize it’s now noon and I haven’t had breakfast. Grab a banana. Sit down. Hear the washer finish it’s cycle, go switch it over, but the dryer is full so empty that and fold clothes. Put gym clothes in washer.

Remember coffee is still in microwave. Nuke it again.

Sound familiar? I’m sure you’ve all had similar days. Big, empty days off that suddenly evaporate and it’s fifteen minutes before you have to go again. How does it happen? Some days that coffee is never warm enough to drink it, and I’m lucky if I write a hundred coherent words—today being one of them.

The good news is, I’ve finally managed to sit down with my laptop and I’ve got two hours left to write. The dog is dry. The crock-pot is cooking. The laundry is doing it’s thing, the counter is clean, the groceries are put away, the recycling is out, the fridge is full and I’ve turned on some peaceful music to write by.

And guess what?  My coffee is beside me.

Cold.

Brenda

One year of Dependent: Seven Lessons Learned

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It's DEPENDENT's anniversary! Exactly one year ago today, I was holding my breath as DEPENDENT went out into the big, big world to find it's fate.

Wow, have I learned a lot.

I've learned about the publishing process, I've learned about book launches, I've learned about reader reviews and royalties and radio interviews. I've learned about publicity and pitching. I've learned about myself as an author, as a military spouse, and as a female in the military community.

Has it been an easy year? No.

Has it been a good year? Definitely.

I get a lot of questions that start with 'how', when talking to new authors. How do I finish? How do I find an agent? How do I get my work published? I'll admit, it's not an easy world to work in. So for those wonderful people who have come to me with their questions, who've asked for advice, and who've given me good, honest criticism, I thought today I'd share with you a few of my lessons learned. I don't think I'll ever consider myself an expert. But I've got more experience than some...so here goes.

Lesson #1:  The publishing world is unpredictable. 

Cross country moves don't
generally mix well with
book launches...

I wish I could find a crystal ball to tell me how a book idea is going to fare. What topic is going to work and what is not. How many people are going to show up at a book signing. Who is going to want my book. What a contract is going to look like.

But there is no crystal ball. I can't tell anyone what will work, because what is cool today may not be cool when you finish your final draft. The odds of writing a book that turns into a phenomenon are pretty slim.

Write what you love to write.

Lesson #2: A book launch is for you, your friends, and your family.

Launching
TREASURE IN THE FLAME
 in 2012

Unless you've got the support of a huge publicity team and gazillions of dollars, plan your book launch so that your friends can come. DEPENDENT was launched in a big city, in a huge store...just after my family and I moved across the continent in an epic military move. We had to pick a launch date long before the military plans solidified, and it just worked out that it was after the move took place. As it was my second launch (TREASURE IN THE FLAME launched in 2012), I thought I'd roll with things and see how it turned out.

Although DEPENDENT's launch was a success, it could have been so much more. I really, truly missed the support of my close friends and family. I hope to plan my next launch (when it happens) either later on in our next military post (when we've made some friends), or closer to my home base.

It's so much easier to publicize something when you have the advantage of local word-of-mouth. And your success is the success of those you love. Plan your launch so they can be there.

Lesson #3: Publicity is so important.

If people don't know about the book, they won't buy it. I've been very, very fortunate to have a great team, but I couldn't have had the success I've had without my #1 PR GUY...my hubby. He's had my back since day one, which was INCREDIBLY important with this book. If you've read DEPENDENT you know why.

Lesson #4: Always be prepared to do a radio interview.

One of the disadvantages to having a switched-on #1 PR GUY is the random radio interview...the one that happens while your driving, unprepared, home from the grocery store. Thank heavens for wide shoulders on Ontario back roads--lots of room to pull off and try to collect your thoughts. And thank heavens they can't see what you're wearing on radio.

Yeah. That happened.

Lesson #5: Not everyone will love you.

This one I was prepared for. I knew that DEPENDENT would not be the book for everyone. And I was right. But writing a book that people feel strongly about--either positively or negatively--is a good thing.

Lesson #6: Don't engage the trolls.

Engaging with haters never ends well. Thankfully I knew this before I started. Sure, I love a good debate, but I'll let the people who read my work stick up for me. Trolls generally are looking to stir the pot, whatever the cost. And the more you engage with them, the more vindictive they get. Don't even justify them with a response. At all. I talked about it a little bit in 15 Seconds, this past May.

Lesson #7: Don't ever, EVER give up.

The writing world is FULL of disappointment. Rejection is part of the package. Agents, editors, readers...there are lots of 'NO's' in this career. And there are many, many moments over the past few years where I've considered dropping it all.

But I won't.

I have three really cool manuscripts finished and ready to go. I've got a couple more on the way. And I'm most certainly not done with this adventure.


Thanks for sharing the journey with me.

Brenda

Want to read more? Walk down memory lane?

Check out Posting Phase Eight to remember the insanity around DEPENDENT's launch.

Or try Launch Week Recap to hear about my first launch!

****WIN A SIGNED COPY!****

Comment below and I'll enter your name into a draw for a signed copy of DEPENDENT, A NOVEL! Draw will take place Wednesday August 5th!