Changes

Ah, the first week of September.

Kids are back to school, days are getting shorter, and yes, that wonderful concoction we call the Pumpkin Spice Latte has made it's reappearance at Starbucks.

Oh, yeah....

After an amazing (and exhausting) few months of fun and excitement, it's time for moms (and dads) everywhere to sit down, grab their PSL, reflect on their summer bucket lists, reorganize their lives and get back to a routine. You know it's been a particularly good summer if that routine is happily anticipated and that first PSL comes with a sense of profound relief.

Ahhhhh.

For me, the relief is particularly intense, as the past few months have brought one heck of a lot of changes. If you've been following me on my social media, you'll have seen the occasional post indicating things were in flux, but sitting here thinking about the scope of change this summer has seen is rather mind boggling.

Here's a short list of what's gone on just since June...

New book-baby

* said goodbye to not one, but TWO beloved day-job workplaces (both of which paid well and had amazing coworkers),

* had the rights for Dependent revert back to me from Jolly Fish Press (more on this later),

* published my new book, Skin,

* watched my firstborn graduate from high school,

* went on a house hunting trip for next posting,

* hubby left for an out-of-country post for five weeks,

Looking lovely in the shark cage

* visited Hawaii and SWAM WITH SHARKS,

* packed our household into a moving truck,

* drove almost 5000km (3000) miles, across an entire continent (1 province and 16 states) over 10 days on the Great American Road Trip from the Pacific Coast in Canada to the Atlantic Coast in America,

* watched our moving truck fill our new, empty house with piles of boxes and junk (sigh),

* drove an additional 4 states and 1 province to drop my firstborn for her first year of university (sniff, sniff!) and returned, (Making a grand total of TWENTY STATES AND TWO PROVINCES this summer!!)

* began current existence in the Washington, DC area which mostly consists of trying to find the bottom of the boxes and figuring out how to transfer my physical therapy license while driving kidlets places and trying not to get frustrated at each small item that comes out of a box bent, dented or broken.

As mentioned a few months ago here, we military families deal with many of life's major stressors on a regular basis. It's part of the job description.  But wow, it's been a busy summer, and yes, that PSL is tasting mighty good right now.

So. Details.

Me...and Old Faithful

Some Presidents and some Dunnes

Re: Moving...

America is huge. Not as big as Canada, but still...huge. And driving across it is an amazing adventure. There is so much to see, and then so many miles of vast nothingness. It was quite a trip. I've attached a couple of my favourite pictures...but nothing can capture the feeling of driving in the centre of a continent with absolutely no lights but your headlights and the stars for miles and miles. It was quite a trip.

Unfortunately the downside of the adventure are the struggles of setting up shop in a brand new place. I find pulling my third very squished seasonal wreath out of a box frustrating. Or the curtain rods with their finials lost or broken off. Or the lamp that came in one box on the second floor of the house, with the shade in a box in the basement of the house...and the harp/shade attachment is still nowhere to be seen... sigh. Luckily we've found this move to be a bit easier (although it's never easy) as our children are older and huge helpers. And, as compensation, the DC area is filled to the brim with museums, cultural events and things to see. I think we'll like it here.


Re: SKIN

I am so pleased with this wonderful little book. My launch was so much fun and I've seen some top 30 moments on Amazon. If you haven't bought it yet, what are you waiting for? :) And don't forget to review!


Re: DEPENDENT

As mentioned above, Dependent is no longer being published by Jolly Fish Press. There are many reasons for this, but after much deep and soul-searching thought I asked for, and received, my legal rights back this past spring. If you have tried to buy an e-copy lately, you should have found that it was out of print, although there are still some paper copies for sale in various places. I am not sure, at this point, where I will go from here. The rights are available, if a publisher expresses interest. I may also publish a new edition via Fortunate Frog Fiction. Decisions to be deferred for a later date.


What's next?

I love fall. I love almost every part of it...the leaves, the smells, the re-established routines, the quiet in the house...

Other than continuing to unpack, I hope to find some well-earned time at my keyboard over the next couple of weeks. I have three manuscripts on the go, all of which could be finished in a month or so with dedicated time on my laptop. SKIN has a sequel in the works, as does TREASURE (slow going, but still plodding away) and a new contemporary YA as well. On top of that, I hope to give my social media presence some love, and tidy up my blog.

Lastly...

I just wanted to say thank you. If you are reading this, you are supporting my passion. You are supporting indie authors, and you have been an important part of my success to date. Thank you so very much for reading, sharing, buying and reviewing my books. I couldn't do it without you. You rock.




Brenda

SALE!!

Sea turtles! On the northern shore of Oahu!

Those sharks are right under my feet!

Wow! Summer is flying by! My Goodreads Giveaway was a huge success, with winners from Louisiana, Saskatchewan and Quebec! Congrats to the three lucky winners!

So I've just spent two weeks on an entirely different island... Oahu! And it was AY-MAY-ZING!

Not only did I get to spend two weeks in a tropical paradise with four of my favourite people in the world, but I also had the privilege of being a military spouse during RIMPAC 2016, met some wonderful military folk from all over the world and...

I SWAM WITH SHARKS!

Looking HOT in my snorkel gear.

I know. Insane. Waaaay out of my comfort zone. Like, in a different galaxy. At one point, I counted twelve sharks swimming beyond the bars of our very flimsy cage. It was AWESOME.

Look at me at the helm!

 I also got to stand at the helm of a HUGE aircraft carrier-- The USS John C Stennis, had Brie (My FAVORITE) on the deck of a French war ship, and kimchi on a Korean ship while watching a very interesting rendition of Gagnam Style. So many adventures! It was a great trip.

But now, because my giveaway was such a success (thank you to all who participated!), and it's the long August weekend (yay!), and we're moving in less than two weeks to the other side of the continent (gah!)...SKIN IS ON SALE!

That's right!

From now until August 2nd you can get SKIN's Kindle edition for a mere $2.99! 

That's less than the price of a latte! So what are you waiting for? :)

If you live in the US... go HERE!

Canadian? Go HERE!

And when you're done, don't forget to review!

Have a super weekend!!

Brenda

Military Monday: The Proof is in the Clematis.

My baby clematis peeking
over the fence

In our family we have a saying--well, several sayings actually--that revolve around postings/PCSs.

"I see someone I know every time I go to the grocery store...it must be time to move."

"I can't go anywhere without running into someone I know...it must be time to move."

"We've almost finished unpacking...it must be time to move."

"The bookcase is just the way I like it...it must be time to move."

"I actually feel comfortable at school...it must be time to move."

"The teachers know who I am...it must be time to move."

You get the idea.

We say these things to torture ourselves, I think. Or to make it easier when the posting message actually comes. A coping mechanism. When you move every 1-3 years, there are some things that you really come to appreciate. The simple fact that your kid's gifts in Math precede them to the next grade. The knowledge that if you needed someone, you'd have more than one person to call. The location of the very best coffeehouse in town. These are things taken for granted in other communities, but in the military community they can be a sign that you've truly settled in a place.

Spring has sprung on Vancouver Island

I love to garden, and one of my dreams is to live in a place long enough to have both an established saucer magnolia, and a full, thriving purple clematis. To date it's never happened.  Even one of the two would be nice, but as always, the magnolia just takes root...and it's time to move.

One of the first things I did last summer was plant a clematis, in hopes it would take root and grow to something fantastic while we were still here. It did well all summer, and I even saw a few blooms before the fall. Throughout our short winter, I watched it, wondering how it would fare.

And now, after a wet and dark winter, spring is here on the pacific coast. Flowers are blooming and birds are singing and last week I noticed that my Clematis plant is not only up, but it's thriving. New shoots are poking out everywhere, and it's grown tall enough to peek over our almost six foot fence.

The clematis is thriving...it must be time to move, right?

Yup. Our posting message came the next day.

And so, the clematis has spoken.  The Dunne family are on the move this summer, this time to the Eastern US.

As much as the upcoming post is exciting, I'll be sad to leave my little clematis plant to fend for itself. Who knows, maybe our next house will have one to take it's place.

And a magnolia too.

Brenda

Like this post? Check out my other posts on 'Posting Phases:Orders, or Season of See-You-Later.

Military Monday: You Know You Are a Military Spouse WHEN... (for June)

After this morning's Facebook post (which, by the way was entirely serious) I thought I'd sit down and write out a Dunne list of military spouse-isms for the end of June. Feel free to add yours in the comments!

You know you are a military spouse when...

1. You see a moving truck pull into your subdivision and you have a minor panic attack.

Are we posted? Did I forget to put it on the calendar? But I just finished unpacking! Is someone I know moving? NO! They can't leave! I like them!

You get the picture.

2. You start packing for your next move and realize you have ten boxes you still haven't unpacked from the last move.

OH! That's where that pair of shoes went! I've been looking for them for three years! And...oops. I don't think that ham sandwich was intended to be packed in the foyer closet box...eeeewww.

3. You're filling out the criminal record check forms so you can coach your 4 y.o. son's soccer team, and you have to look up postal codes for three places to put in the 'List addresses for the past 5 years' section.

Not lying. I had to do that two weeks ago for a different summer activity.

4. You decide to file your kid's report cards properly (for a change) and realize last year's report card is still in a box. Somewhere.

Remember those ten boxes? My advice is to start looking in the bottom one.

5. You give up trying to find last year's (insert summer item here) and just buy a new one. 

It probably was broken/wouldn't fit, anyway.

6. You start looking at real estate websites in random locations, because you know you're likely posted next year. 

I am addicted to the multi-listing service (MLS). Just the whisper of potential postings sends me in a frenzy of home shopping. This year is no exception. And no, we aren't moving...yet.

7. You could wallpaper your house with rainbows of those little moving company stickers. 

Yep. Been there.

8. You know what FIGMO* stands for.

I--not lying--explained this acronym to one of my civilian co-workers this past week. She'd never heard of it. I enlightened her and she totally agreed she was FIGMO. :)

9. You are FIGMO.

Even if you didn't work during this post. You get that June feeling. You know, the THANK GOD SCHOOL IS FINISHED FOR A FEW MONTHS, feeling. Or maybe you're glad to be leaving your job too...and going along with your spouse. There's something so freeing about moving to a totally new place with a new job and new potential friends.


10. June is a happy-sad-stressful month.

See number 1. Who is leaving? Who is moving in? Where are you going? Where is your spouse heading on exercise? How are you going to deal with kids leaving their friends?

Looking ahead to moving and having friends move is emotionally draining. Actually June is draining.

Take heart. August is only a few months away.


Brenda


*FIGMO= F*@# It, Got My Orders.

Dear Teacher Who Just Gave My Kid A Chance

Dear Teacher, Coach, Instructor, Leader, Responsible Adult,

You don't know me--not yet, anyway--but you just met my daughter. You know, the one with the freckles? The new kid that just moved in from God-knows-where, and came into your wonderful, well established class/team/group/lesson,  the class you've been teaching since these kids were teeny-weeny and didn't want to leave their moms. You've spent forever getting these no-longer-little humans to work together as a group. You've watched them find their passions. You rejoiced when they became friends. You've encouraged them as they fought and found their way. And last year, you jumped for joy when they triumphed and came FIRST PLACE at that big, big BIG competition. Their success was the result of years and years of your hard work.

But today, my kid came into the room, and you didn't have a clue what to do with her.

She walked in...a stranger, an unknown, an alien. The other kids stared. Who in the heck was this girl? Waltzing in, to disturb their perfectly-balanced microcosm of society?

You knew nothing about my kid's abilities, and you were worried that this unknown would turn your award-winning team into a disaster. You wondered if I was being truthful about my kid's background and training. You've had kids like her before...and they didn't last.

You, dear teacher, could have chosen one of two roads.

You could have taken the easy road--treated my teen like a stranger, doubted her abilities, erred on the side of safety. Your gut was probably telling you this. Parents tend to exaggerate, don't they? Unknowns rarely prove worthy of recognition. And God-knows-where likely had horrible teachers-- fakes masquerading as professionals. You could have completely discounted my kid, and you would have been justified in your own mind.

You knew nothing about my amazing daughter...and you could have made a difficult situation much, much worse.

But you did not take this road.

You wonderful, wonderful person. You dear, sweet, patient human being.

You didn't walk down that path at all. There were so many ways you could have hurt my girl, so many simple, minuscule things you could have done to make her already difficult life a nightmare...but you didn't.

Instead, you watched. Not too closely--not so intensely that she felt singled out. You watched just enough to see and understand what she was made of.

You understood that she would be behind in some things, but you also realized that she would be far ahead in others. You were patient when she didn't follow your way of teaching. And when she caught on, you praised her, but didn't dwell. You gave her time to assimilate new methods, and you challenged her on the things she knew. You placed her with others, and encouraged the tiny spark of friendship.

You asked questions...and you believed the answers.

The next class you challenged her a bit more. You put her closer to the spotlight, but you didn't push.

You watched and waited.

You believed in her. You wanted her to succeed. You knew that her many experiences had given her a wide, full background to pull from. You celebrated her differences.

And before you knew it...she became part of the team. Sure, it was a tentative link, a delicate and tender and thin tendril that tied her to this tight-knit group with a BIG history, but you supported that thread. You helped her to weave herself in, and then you let her go.

Dear teacher who just gave my kid a chance, you couldn't have known that she's done this not once, not twice, but six times in her short life. You couldn't have known that being the new kid every other year is beyond hard. It's scary and demeaning and physically and emotionally painful. Your watching and waiting and supporting were vital in not just your class, but in her very existence.

It may have seemed second nature to you, but believe me, it's not like that for some teachers. There are those that are quick to discount, quick to shut out, quick to discriminate. Those that would stomp all over her confidence to make a point.

You did none of these things. Nope. Not you. You gave my kid a chance. And in giving my kid a chance you proved to her that she is worth the effort. You showed her that God-knows-where is a good place to be from. And you strengthened the foundation she'll build on in the next place.

Dear teacher who just gave my kid a chance, you are a true hero.

Thank you, from the bottom of this proud mom's heart.

Military Monday: That Time of Year

Make new friends,

But keep the old,

One is silver- 

and the other gold. 

~Anonymous

Yes, it's that time of year again. The posting messages are out, the houses are on the market, and the house hunting trips are booked.

April in the military is not just about new beginnings--not just spring and newness and fresh air. April is the time when the realization starts to hit that this too must come to an end. And when the emotional roller-coaster starts it's trek uphill for both the leavers and the left.

There are two sides of each move and, depending on the year, military families experience both. Every year we know it's coming. Some years we leave, some years we don't. Sometimes the goodbyes are more permanent, and sometimes they are more like see you next year. Sometimes blossoming connections get cut short and come to a quick and final end, and sometimes they are just the beginnings of deep-rooted, life-long friendships.

This year our family gets to stay put. It's a relief in some ways...no boxes, no stressful search for a new home, no schools to pick and trips to plan. Even writing about it elevates my heart rate and makes me sweat. Heck, we still have boxes from our 2014 move, waiting for me to dive in and organize (and they'll likely continue to wait until the next move...).

But, like every year before this one, staying put is bittersweet...because already the process of goodbye has begun.  I have several new friends who are preparing to move, and although I'm happy for them, it makes me sad to think that we may never see each other again when they do. I know from experience that it is much, much easier to leave than to be left. The leaver has the excitement of new adventures ahead, and the left has a hole where a friend once was.

What's amazing about military families is that they keep doing it. They keep searching out friends, even knowing there's no permanence to the situation they are in. They push themselves to say hello, even when they are emotionally fragile from last year's loss. Some posts they may spend in a rut of loneliness, but they know that maybe the next time, the next place has a BFF just waiting to be discovered.

And the result? Maybe not in all cases, but in my case a wealth of wonderful, life-long connections. Kindred spirits from afar. Friendships across the globe. People I love dearly and would do anything for. Unique, amazing individuals who I may never see again, but who have touched my life.

And I'd like to think, in some small way, I've touched theirs.

Sure I'm sad it's that time of year. I'm sad to know that my friends are leaving. But this world has a way of keeping the connections we make. I know there's a new friend waiting, just around the corner. And I know my old friends are always there.

Brenda

Military Monday: Life...interrupted.

As you know, our summer has been a bit messy, with all of the moving and upheaval and chaos that goes with it. Although you never get used to that sort of insanity, you learn to deal with it. You expect a month or two of boxes and hiccups and new issues, and this summer is no exception.

As our moves typically occur in the summertime, we usually fumble through the months of July and August...knowing that in September we'll really be able to get organized. 

Because in September, the kids go back to school. Schedules are finalized, kids head off to their classes with backpacks full of shiny new school supplies... off to fill their heads with knowledge, meet new friends and settle in for the next few years. Parents are refreshed, energized, and people like me finally have the time to dig into those last few boxes and get their household administration under control. Time to sort out our careers, organize our days and make plans. Right? 

Wrong.

Waiting for the doors to open.

In the province of British Columbia (where we live), teachers are on strike. It's a messy, political, deep-rooted battle between the BC Teachers Federation and Governmental beings, and as an outsider moving in, I refuse to take sides and support either entity. When two sides can't sit down with an experienced negotiator and work it out, they lose my respect. I am already sick of the media ads and tweets that say (either directly or indirectly) 'Our side is better because we're willing to negotiate and the other side isn't, so you should support us!' Baloney. Horse poop. It all makes me grumpy. Especially when the people who the sides are fighting about--teachers and kids--just want to get back to school. 

Anyway I digress. 

The schools here are closed, and my kids are still home. Those hallowed first days of school where I can sip my coffee and organize my life are yet to happen. There are signs that the two sides are getting closer, but I'm not holding my breath.

I'll be fine. And my kids will be fine as well. But the first day of school is a milestone all families look forward to. And it has become blatantly clear how much we, as a military family, depend on that milestone to ease the sting of a posting. 

Because school isn't just about books. It's about life. 

Life for military families with kids on a new post starts on the first day of school. It's the real beginning. Until that day, the move isn't finished. Just like the pile of boxes in the corner, school holds so many possibilities and so many unknowns. It's a big stressor for military kids because there are so many unanswered questions. Will I like my teacher? Will I be able to play the trombone in band? Will I make the soccer team? Will I be behind or ahead in Math? Will I have too much homework? Will the kids on the bus be mean or nice? Will they tease me because I'm new? Did I get the course selections I asked for? Will I have enough time to get between classes? Are there good books in the library? 

And the most important question for kids... Will I meet a new best friend?

It's always been a given that the kids would head back to school at the end of the summer, and when they were bored and missing their old friends we could bring up the possibility of new friends just on the other side of the school doors. Our kids are old enough to understand. They know that somewhere in the throng of shiny new faces is a potential kindred spirit. So they are looking forward (even if they won't admit it) to the first day. But it feels like we are on hold. Like life is interrupted. Unfinished. 

And this year we have a new question to add to our list of unknowns. When will it start?

I guess we will just have to wait and see. 

Military Monday: Posting Phase Eight: The Insanity.

Not one, not two, but FIVE trucks
just outside of our house...

So I was all happily writing away at my lovely posting phases and making everything sound all organized and perfect when...BOOM. It happened. The INSANITY. Pre-pack day, pack day, load day, clean day, drive away day and suddenly I'm on the other side of the country, launching my book, shaking my head and wondering what the heck happened.

Rory the horse. Not happy with his can on wheels.

This is what it is to have a military move. Insanity. No amount of planning can prepare you for the weeks of chaos and restaurant meals and unexpected car repairs. No one can give you a list that gets you ready to put everything you own on someone else's truck (or in our case, three trucks...) and watch it drive away. And no magic number of previous moves can prepare you for that next move...because just when you think you've seen it all, something else gets thrown in to shake things up a bit.  Like having your books arrive but no shelving units. Or the lovely metal-scraping sound that appeared as we hauled our horse trailer (with horse) over some of the steepest roads in the country.

Drive thru ice-cream place in rural Ontario,
Rory was a hit.

This was our first time moving with a horse, and it added a whole new meaning to drive-thru restaurants and Bed and Breakfast lodging. 'Is hay included in the price?'--and-- 'Indoor or outdoor paddocks?' were not questions we previously had encountered when booking a move. And you think your toddler doesn't want to get in the car? Try loading a thousand pound horse that's got a bruise on his behind and is leaving his new-found best friends. Can you blame him for not wanting to walk into a non-air-conditioned can on wheels?

Bed, Bale and Breakfast in Kenaston,
Saskatchewan

Add 5000km of driving, several hair-raising turns with unthinkable cliffs on the other side, a state-of-emergency due to flooding, tornado warnings, seriously bad mosquitos (Manitoba really does have the worlds biggest mosquitos), all with three tall teens in the back seat of a pick up truck. And don't forget a hike up a mountain creek, a gondola ride to the top of a Mountain, some wonderful meals, some okay meals, some truly scary pit-stops and then end with a ferry ride...that brings us to the other side of a truly massive continent...where our house was not quite ready for us.

Hoodoos in Drumheller

A few more hotel nights, unload day (x3), unpack day (x1), a clothes dryer fire, a sewage back up in the basement (which was full of boxes), more hotel days, DEPENDENT's book launch, several formal military events (including my husband's Change of Command ceremony) and many other crazy moments that I won't mention here, and you get a brief taste of the past month.

Insanity.

And would I have it any other way?

Not a chance!

Am I crazy? Quite possibly.

But in amongst those mad moments were some truly wonderful family adventures. We stood at the top of a mountain. We went as far west as the kids have EVER been. We saw dinosaur bones, a live moose, the Terry Fox Memorial, and real hoo doos. We mets some amazing people with open arms and kind hearts. We giggled. And laughed, and joked and explored. We learned that generosity lives not in big bank accounts but in small gestures of friendship. And we did it together.

Sulfur Mountain in Banff

Move in day...

We're here! Dipping my feet in the Pacific. 

 What's insane is how well it all went. It's insane that we are here, that we drove that far with five people in a pickup truck towing a horse, and we're still talking to one another. It's insane that our travel costs were covered by the military--not all of them, but most. And it's so insane that we live here...in this beautiful town on this beautiful island. Yes, we've still got boxes artfully hidden under tablecloths and crammed in corners, and yes I'm sick of disorganization, mess and chaos...but we made it.

Together.

And that is what it's all about.


Brenda

More posting phases: Seven (look for more at the bottom of the link!)

Military Monday: Posting Phase Five

PHASE FIVE: THE LONG WAIT

Everything is ready. The house is clean. The plans are made. The signs are up and our stash and dash is perfected.

But the phone doesn't ring.

The housing market slumps.

And that highly anticipated rapid and insane house sale doesn't happen.

Still waiting...

Sadly, not every house sale goes as planned. No matter how much time you spend thinking about your listing price, no matter how magazine-perfect your rooms are, no matter how many bells and whistles your feature sheet cites, sometimes the right buyer just doesn't materialize. We've been on both ends of the spectrum. We've had a week-long insane buyer's bonanza and we've had the six-month long haul--complete with hubby moving on ahead of us while I try to keep my brain from exploding in a spotless house with three kids and two pets.

Sometimes there's no magic to it. You list aggressively, you clean like Cinderella, and you wait. You lower your price, offer incentives...and you wait.

Patience is a virtue I lack.

There are lots of tips out there for ensuring a quick house sale (like this one from HGTV). But once you've exhausted yourself cleaning out closets and mopping floors and folding your bathroom towels just so, all there is left to do is hang in there and hope and pray for the best. You still have to live in your house.

Unfortunately so does the rest of your family.

Ah, the joys of military posting-hood.


Brenda

Want to read more Posting Phases?  Check them out!

Posting Phase Four: The Stash and Dash

Posting Phase Three: Orders!

Posting Phase Two: Closet Clean-out

Posting Phase One: Real Estate Research

Posting Phase Four: The Stash and Dash

The sign is up on the lawn. You've cleaned and buffed and polished sorted and tidied and fooled yourself into believing the house is ready for showings. But you still live in your house. Your kids still make messes. You still have to shower in your bathroom. Your pets still track in mud and bits of grass. And that coffee is still an essential start to your day.

Then the phone call you've been anticipating (and dreading) comes. A showing! And can these lovely potential home-buyers come in TWENTY-FIVE MINUTES?

Gaaaaaaah! NOOOOOOOOOOO!


Thus begins the phase known as STASH AND DASH. You run around madly with a vacuum in one hand, a damp cloth in the other and dusting rags attached to your feet... while canned cinnamon buns cook at warp speed in the oven. Dirty socks get stashed in closets, pj's under pillows, toothbrushes jammed in drawers, today's breakfast dishes unceremoniously dumped in dishwashers(on top of clean dishes, of course). Items of all shapes and sizes get stuffed in your pockets--coins, pet-hair, hay, toy cars, loose threads, buttons, tissues, dryer sheets, paperclips, pens, pencils...the list goes on and on. Time accelerates until there's nothing to do but give up, hope for the best, and (pets and toddlers in tow) jump into the car and leave.

Inevitably, this is also the time when said pet decides to vomit on your just cleaned carpet. Or your toddler dumps her entire lego collection on the floor. Or a glass drops on the floor, shattering and spewing shards in forty directions, while also denting your not-so-pristene hardwood. Or your basement floods, a flock of geese flies by and spatters your house with ick, the cat runs off with a carpet-thread pulling behind her, the cupboard door falls off of it's hinges or the toilet clogs.

And in the military? This is usually when your husband/spouse takes off for a four month course in the Caribbean, and you are doing it all by yourself while he drinks rum from a coconut in a tiki bar on the beach.

I remember one house showing where the home-buyers showed up half an hour early, and my then eighteen-month-old exploded with the stinkiest poop on the planet just as I noticed them walking in our back yard. Yeah. The aftereffects were smelled for weeks afterwords. Needless to say, our house didn't sell that day.

It's a crazy time, selling a house. You'd think after eight moves I'd have perfected the art of the stash and dash, but every house is different. It's certainly never dull!

I'm sure you have a great house-selling story... ever have someone come into your house unannounced? Have a household disaster the day before a second shown? What's your worst (or best) stash and dash? tell us about it below!

~Brenda

Check out my other Posting Phase Blogs!

Posting Phase One: Real Estate Research

Posting Phase Two: The Closet Clean-Out

Posting Phase Three: Orders!

Posting Phase Three: Orders!

Maybe we could just move here? The Dunnes at
the Universal Studios.

As usually happens, my hubby received his posting orders at the moment he least expected... while standing in line at the Duelling Dragons ride at Universal Studios, Orlando! Ah, the age of modern technology has changed the process quite a lot in our 25+ years associated with the military. Nothing like a buzzing Blackberry as you are staring down uncertain death by Harry Potter Dragon-coaster, to let you know your life is--quite literally--about to turn upside down and topsy turvy.

So...joking aside, we are extremely excited to be moving across the continent this year to beautiful Comox, British Columbia! (Or at least I've heard it's beautiful. The closest I've been is Victoria, about 3 hours south.) For my American friends, Comox is north of Seattle. This is an amazing posting for my hubby, and we're all looking forward to spending time with tall trees, big mountains and ocean beaches. Also looking forward to meeting new friends and reconnecting with old ones on the west coast. The last time I lived out west was for basic training in Chilliwack, BC...25 years ago!

What the posting message really means to us (when Dragon rides and vacation trips are over and reality starts to sink in) is that now we can finally DO SOMETHING about our move. Real estate agents have been called on both sides of the country, appointments have been booked and the ball is rolling toward a summer move. Posting Phase Four and all the others will be coming up soon and it's nice to be moving forward instead of flying circles in a holding pattern. Now if we can just sell our house, I can actually look at the real estate sites with a purpose!

Speaking of which... Must. Go. Clean.

Any one else out there received a posting message? Where are you off too this summer?

Brenda

Military Monday: The Changing Nature of Time

Of course we all know that time is fluid, sometimes speeding up, sometimes slowing down. And no where is this more true than in a military family.

Imagine looking ahead to a deployment. Be it six months, nine months, a year... even two weeks. The time between now and when your spouse leaves is like a speeding freight train coming right at you. The closer it gets, the faster it seems to go, until it smacks you right in the face and then keeps going, running over you and leaving you stunned and a tiny bit lost.

Yet after they leave, time stretches out. Long, trudgy days of the same routine over and over again with no variety. Stress. No news. No bright lights in the near future to focus on. Their few phone calls? Like a single breath--in, out and it's over. Two weeks of leave in the middle? A huge wait for a heart beat of time.

Time expands and contracts in weird ways for military families. Sometimes there's not enough time. Some time there's too much.

Take my family for example. We're still waiting for that lovely piece of paper (or in today's day and age an email) that says: You're Posted! Get Going! It seems like we've been waiting forever for that little tidbit. While you're waiting you can't do anything, just watch those beautifully perfect homes on MLS appear and disappear like smoke.

But when it comes? Chaos. Five million things need to be done, all at once, that can't be done without the official OK. (see my Posting Phases posts...) Houses cleaned and dejunked and listed, house hunting trips booked, schools notified, plans made, and time becomes an unstoppable wave that builds and builds until it crashes down and you are driving away from three years of friendships and home-building into a world of unknowns and adventure.


Call me strange, but I actually like the changing nature of time. It's something I can count on--even if that's a bit of an oxymoron. It's consistently changing. One of the expecteds in my life. Those long days of waiting are great for just...existing. Reading a book, finding something fun to do with the kids, letting the housework slide and watching a movie. Sometimes it takes work to enjoy the slow-downs. Sometimes it's really hard to see the positives when there are still three months of single parenting ahead. But what choice do we have? Time keeps passing. I use slow days to recharge my batteries.

And the speedy days? Those are fun in a whole different way. Riding the wave is like careening down a ski-hill at top speed, reacting to the trees as they pop up in front of you. It's scary and exciting and sometimes it's really hard to put on the brakes on enjoy the moment. Too many things to do and too little time to do them in means you have to prioritize. Breathe. Look those little memories in your brain to take them out when things slow down again.

Because it's guaranteed that the minute you get comfortable with the speed of time it will change again. 

In the words of the old adage...This too shall pass. So why not enjoy it before it does?


Brenda

Military Monday: Laugh

My husband and I took a cruise in the Mediterranean for our honeymoon a whole lot of years ago. We opted for the shared dining experience in the big dining room, and were fortunate enough to share our table with a family of five from Hamilton. I can't remember their names...only that dad was a lawyer and mom was a nurse and the kids were all in their mid to late teens.

This Hamilton family expanded their space to us and we became part of their unit over the next few days. I remember thinking how nice it was that they were travelling as a family, even though the kids were older. That at a time when most kids wanted nothing to do with their parents, their three almost-grown children wanted to be with their parents. I admired them as a family. Why?

They were having FUN together.

They joked with Dad about the 'real leather vest' (obviously fake) he'd bought off of a pedlar on the street. They giggled about how Dad had danced with the feather-boa clad entertainers on stage. Mom smiled and daughters whispered and son tried to look mature and grown-up, and they teased and joked and giggled and five course meals passed in seconds.

I remember thinking that some day, I wanted a family like that.

This family stuck with me as my husband and I had children of our own over the next few years. And now in the blink of an eye we have teens. (How is that possible? Weren't they just babies yesterday?) Our life is crazy and hectic and with two careers and military life and a farm and a thousand extra-curriculars, I wonder how we can possibly make it to next week, let alone manage stay together as a family. When hubby is on one side of the world and I'm knee deep in assorted excrement (think dog, cat, sheep, chicken, horse...) and I have to somehow get three kids to three different parts of the country by myself, on a day I have to be at work, and I've got writing deadlines and groceries to buy and laundry to do and--oh yes!--did I mention it's posting season and the house has to be spotless because the real estate agents are taking pictures while we're out?

I'll tell you how we manage.

We laugh.

We giggle and we joke and we do silly things and instead of taking things seriously, we take risks.
We  go skiing when it's thirty below zero. We drive to places we've never seen. Dad tells the same silly jokes over and over and when he goes away we eat popcorn for supper and play loud music and dance.

Sometimes it's hard to laugh. When people are sick, when the money is short, when friendships go awry or when bad things happen. When reunions get delayed.  When information doesn't get passed on. When Dad misses a birthday. There will always be a fine line between laughter and tears. There's nothing wrong with tears. Tears are strength in liquid form.

But if at all possible, tip things upward and giggle. Find something in it to laugh about.

Ten years later we'll look back on the difficult times and laugh. We'll wonder what we were so worried about. Because really, laughter is background music for great family memories.

Brenda


"I think laughter may be a form of courage. As humans we sometimes stand tall and look into the sun and laugh, and I think we are never more brave than when we do that."
                   ~Linda Ellerbee