The Bar Code Tattoo and LFB Reviews

One of the nasty (or beneficial, depending how you look at it) things about following my military husband from place to place in what seems like a never-ending sequence of moves is that sometimes it takes a while to re-employ myself. Being a physiotherapist by trade, usually this is just a matter of filling out the paperwork for the local licensing board, putting my name out to a few places looking for PTs, and voila! I have a job. Often it's faster than I'd like it be, sometimes it's not. Being a Canadian in a different country, I need a little more than proof of my degree and experience. I need THE CARD. This card is not easy coming. In fact, it's been a bit of a challenge.

So, to make a long story short, five months into our new living arrangements, I remain unemployed.

Don't take this as I'm sitting around twiddling my thumbs. I'm not. I'm writing. I'm social-mediaing. I'm still spending several hours a week on Canadian volunteer positions I haven't given up. The social obligations of being married to my husband are not to be taken lightly. I drive a mean SUV in the high school kiss and go lanes, and am an avid supporter of extra-curriculars. I am the opposite of a twiddler.

But still, I need something to focus my days and the extra funds in our bank account do not hurt. So I wait.

In my quest to fill my days with unpaid meaningful things while awaiting the chance at doing paid meaningful things, I sort of fell into a volunteer position. I was dropping off books at the local library's donation box (by necessity, not by desire--there was literally no room on any of our bookshelves), and the lovely woman who was in charge of the Library Friends said they were looking for volunteers and gave me their info.

Books, organization, self-determined hours? What's not to love about that? My junior high school-day friends will remember the wonders of being a library helper (oh, the power of charging a late fee! Getting first dibs at new books! And first looks at the Scholastic book fair!) and my librarian friends (I have a surprising amount of friends with Library Science degrees) will appreciate the joy of putting a book on a shelf exactly where it belongs--well, in my current situation, where I THINK it belongs. Library Friends Bookshop is only slightly picky about things like alphabetization.

So starting two weeks ago, I walked into a room full of crazily disorganized donated books and began my journey as a Library Friend Bookshop (LFB) volunteer.

Now I will preface what I hope will be many blog posts by saying that I had no idea, when I signed up, that one of the perks was an honour system of hours worked = books. I just thought the act of organizing and selling donated books would provide me with a different view of the book world, introduce me to other bibliophiles, and perhaps expose me to books I had never noticed before, later to be signed out or purchased (very cheaply) for my personal reading pleasure. Imagine, doing something you enjoy, and getting 'paid' in something else you enjoy?

There are just SO. MANY. BOOKS. What is a girl to do, but read them? So I've vowed to bring home a few a week (and likely return them, as there is still no room on my bookshelves) and challenge myself to read differently. To read books I wouldn't normally pick up. To expand my brain, while waiting for meaningful employment.

I figure the least I can do is tell you my thoughts about them.

And so...thus begins the LFB Reviews*.

Week 1
The Bar Code Tattoo 
YA Dystopian
by Suzanne Weyn

It's no secret that the world is a wee bit shaken up right now. 2016 was a year of bizarreness. And this week is, without a doubt, going to go down in history. How that history will play out has been wildly speculated, and I am not the one to discuss the pros and cons of any side. But the last few months have felt mildly dystopian. And with one of my yet-unsold finished manuscripts dealing with similar world-gone-crazy scenarios, this book jumped out at me on the shelf as I was trying to cram two Harry Potter books and a Maze Runner book in beside it. I've seen it before, and was curious...but not curious enough to buy it. Yet there it was, in the pile of crazy mixed up MG and YA. Not hugely out of my comfort zone, but not something I would normally have purchased. And then, SURPRISE!, it jumped into my pile and came home with me.

I wish I could say I loved this book. I really do. I wanted to love this book, I wanted it to be the first of a love affair with Library Friends Bookshop literature. The premise is so real right now--adults (over 17) being forced to be tattooed and DNA typed and having their entire lives dictated by said tattoo and the company which administered it. It could happen. It's a strong storyline.

But the book got mired in relationships and when the main character, Kayla, started having visions and speaking telepathically with a mystical leader of the Resistance. At that point, I found it increasingly hard to follow. And it seemed less and less realistic. There were some deep questions--Should our genetics dictate our employment, our livelihood, our existence? And some scary possibilities, including that of a society which 'euthanizes' its elderly. Frightening and thought provoking. But the writing did not highlight those issues, and sadly I had to fight to finish the book.

On a scale of Total Keeper (10) to Back to the LFB Post-Haste (1)?

I give it a 4/10. I'll take this one back for someone else to enjoy.

Enjoy the week, folks. From where I sit, it's bound to be a doozy.

Brenda

*Please note,  the views on this blog are my own, and do not, in any way, indicate opinions of the Library Friends, the Canadian Forces or anyone. They are mine. Also note, I tend to be perfectly awful at regular blogging. You probably know this already, but I warn you in advance that there will likely be weeks I miss. Maybe months I miss. So I apologize in advance.

Military Monday: You Know You Are a Military Spouse WHEN... (for June)

After this morning's Facebook post (which, by the way was entirely serious) I thought I'd sit down and write out a Dunne list of military spouse-isms for the end of June. Feel free to add yours in the comments!

You know you are a military spouse when...

1. You see a moving truck pull into your subdivision and you have a minor panic attack.

Are we posted? Did I forget to put it on the calendar? But I just finished unpacking! Is someone I know moving? NO! They can't leave! I like them!

You get the picture.

2. You start packing for your next move and realize you have ten boxes you still haven't unpacked from the last move.

OH! That's where that pair of shoes went! I've been looking for them for three years! And...oops. I don't think that ham sandwich was intended to be packed in the foyer closet box...eeeewww.

3. You're filling out the criminal record check forms so you can coach your 4 y.o. son's soccer team, and you have to look up postal codes for three places to put in the 'List addresses for the past 5 years' section.

Not lying. I had to do that two weeks ago for a different summer activity.

4. You decide to file your kid's report cards properly (for a change) and realize last year's report card is still in a box. Somewhere.

Remember those ten boxes? My advice is to start looking in the bottom one.

5. You give up trying to find last year's (insert summer item here) and just buy a new one. 

It probably was broken/wouldn't fit, anyway.

6. You start looking at real estate websites in random locations, because you know you're likely posted next year. 

I am addicted to the multi-listing service (MLS). Just the whisper of potential postings sends me in a frenzy of home shopping. This year is no exception. And no, we aren't moving...yet.

7. You could wallpaper your house with rainbows of those little moving company stickers. 

Yep. Been there.

8. You know what FIGMO* stands for.

I--not lying--explained this acronym to one of my civilian co-workers this past week. She'd never heard of it. I enlightened her and she totally agreed she was FIGMO. :)

9. You are FIGMO.

Even if you didn't work during this post. You get that June feeling. You know, the THANK GOD SCHOOL IS FINISHED FOR A FEW MONTHS, feeling. Or maybe you're glad to be leaving your job too...and going along with your spouse. There's something so freeing about moving to a totally new place with a new job and new potential friends.


10. June is a happy-sad-stressful month.

See number 1. Who is leaving? Who is moving in? Where are you going? Where is your spouse heading on exercise? How are you going to deal with kids leaving their friends?

Looking ahead to moving and having friends move is emotionally draining. Actually June is draining.

Take heart. August is only a few months away.


Brenda


*FIGMO= F*@# It, Got My Orders.

Five Reasons Women SHOULD Consider a Career in the Military

There's been a lot of discussion in the Canadian media this past week about sexual misconduct in the military environment. Our Chief of Defence Staff, Gen Tom Lawson commissioned a review of our armed forces in 2014, and the findings were reported in a document released this week here.

It's a pretty harsh report, denoting the military environment as 'hostile' and 'sexualized'.

Funny, I never felt that way in my years of uniformed service. The possibility existed, yes, and there were moments where I felt uncomfortable. But never hostile, and no more so than I'd feel in many other male-dominated environments. Or that I'd felt working at my previous job at Tim Horton's Coffee Shop. Let's just say I had my butt pinched more than once as a waitress. And NEVER as a uniform wearing military woman.

Ask any woman who's walked into a previously men-only board room, or a football pitch, and they'd likely say they felt the same way. And as women continue to work their way up into a 'mans world' this will continue to happen.

Society needs to change, and the military is just one aspect of it.

But.

In spite of all of the issues, the armed forces are a GREAT place for women to work. Especially now. Why?

1. Equal pay for equal rank. Nowhere else are you so clearly eligible for the exact same pay for the same work, no matter what gender. If you are a three year corporal or a two year captain, you make the same pay for the same job. Pay is tightly controlled by a series of rules.

2. You get paid to keep fit. That's right. It's expected that you will exercise. It's part of your job. What other careers allow you time off of work to go to that kettle-bell class?

3. Maternity benefits. In Canada our military women get paid time off of up to a year for maternity benefits. Bonding time with baby is so important. And our armed forces allow women that time.

4. You get to learn to shoot. Or fix trucks. Or drive big machines. Or fly fast airplanes, or run hospitals or save lives. There are so many options. And you can finish your university education with no debt, a job waiting and a decent starting salary. One of my favourite things about completing my degree with the ROTP program was the fact that my books and equipment were also covered. No huge textbook bills to worry about. And I still use my degree that the military paid for. Win-win.

5. Opportunities for advancement. Yes, there are women generals, and colonels, and warrant officers. These opportunities are improving (especially now) and career progression is more and more regulated.


And the best part? This new report will only make things even better, as leadership continues to push for gender equality. For no-tolerance on sexual harassment in the workplace, and for safe, victim-centred reporting processes. Where else in the workforce can you find that?

Not at the coffee shop.


Brenda

15 Seconds

I've been more of a lurker on social media lately, partially because I've been focusing on my latest manuscript, partially because my children have been on spring break...and partially because a lot of what I've seen lately just makes me angry. There's a whole lot of crazy out there, and crazy seems to find it's voice on the anonymous forum of the internet. Un-researched medical claims, sensational news articles and blog posts designed solely for the purpose of annoying and creating a stir. Or thoughtless comments that blow things way out of proportion.

You know what I mean...the anti-vaxxer who refuses--loudly--to admit plain science and then causes a potentially deadly measles outbreak. The celebrity who publicly bashes another because his or her favourite didn't win an award. The president/prime minister haters and lovers and the gun toters/gun haters and all of the others who apparently believe in their causes enough to use foul language, utter threats and just be downright mean.

Does anyone else out there feel that things are rapidly spiralling out of control?

I grew up in an environment where your words--however they were brought into this world--had consequences. I live in a society where honour and integrity are not just buzz words. They are a matter of life and death. I'm trying to teach my children that what they do and what they say matters, and our words can have profound influence on others around us.

So when I pop on my Mac to check on what's going on in the world, it scares the heck out of me to see the lack of integrity shown on a daily basis on my screen.

Don't get me wrong. I love my social media. I think it is a great tool. I love the convenience. I love the speed at which I can find out things--is there traffic on the highway? What's the weather? How is my cousin in France? When is that movie coming out and is it worth seeing?

But rapidity of social media response time often fogs the integrity of the response itself. It's sooooo easy to just post that knee-jerk comment. So simple to post a nasty come-back. Just a couple of key-strokes and that opinionated tweet is out there, ready to wreak havoc on the world. Piece of cake, right?

But a mere 140 characters can have LIFE CHANGING effects.

Ask Justine Sacco, who posted a simple tweet that ruined her life. Or Alicia Ann Lynch who posted a photo of her somewhat-tasteless halloween costume. Perhaps if they had just taken 15 seconds to consider the consequences of their posts, their lives would be different now. And perhaps if the shamers had taken a few seconds and actually thought that there was a real person on the other end of all this...well maybe things would be different.

There are some lights out there, though...beacons in the dismal world of thoughtless posting. I particularly like Emma Watson, who is trying to make a better world, one step at a time. Or Ellen DeGeneres, who seems to have a genuinely good heart, and uses her fame for the better of others.

Do you have a process by which you pre-check your social media posts?

Or are you a fly-by-the-seat-of-your-pants poster? I'm an agonizer. I write something. I re-read it. I read it again, I wonder what it will sound like to others. Will what I have written be construed as something else? Will it affect a friend or loved one? Will it negatively affect my career? I admittedly suck at twitter chat forums because it takes me so long to get my thoughts down accurately. Heck, this fifteen paragraph blog has taken me five hours to write.

Maybe I'm just old fashioned. But I'd rather take 15 seconds to reread a few words than post a tweet that could harm myself or someone I love.

Or better yet, I'll just not post anything at all.

Brenda

Five Calendar Years

So, this morning I was surfing through twitter and I saw this tweet:

There's still time to nominate an author for the 2015 Lieutenant Governor's Award for Literary Excellence! The... http://t.co/nfiw3gNQD7
— The BC Book Prizes (@bcbookprizes) January 28, 2015

I was all YAY! A literary prize! I live in BC! Maybe I can apply!

Before I go any further, let me add that I in no way have delusions of grandeur. I write. I write good things, and I write some not-so-good things. I probably will never win a literary prize, but I have to admit, I'd like to someday write something that was worthy of recognition. Maybe I haven't written that yet, but someday. It's a secret (well, not so secret now...) dream of mine.

You miss 100% of the shots you don't take, right? So it was worth a look.

I clicked on the link, which goes directly to the rules. And yes, my eyes were a bit big for the award's specifics. It says this...

The recipient of the Lieutenant Governor’s Award for Literary Excellence will be recognized as having:

• written a substantial body of literary work throughout their career; and
• contributed significantly to the literary community/industry of the Province of British Columbia.

Obviously, I have not contributed significantly to the literary community of the Province of BC. Heck, I just got here 6 months ago. So no, I'm not really the one for this prize. But with an eye for future possibilities I read on to the eligibility requirements.

1. Writers must be Canadian Citizens or Permanent Residents who were either born in British Columbia or whose principle place of residence has been British Columbia for at least the last five (5) full calendar years.

There it is.

At least the last five full calendar years.

You all know military spouses move a lot. You can read my rant on this HERE. It pretty much says it all.

Since I began my journey with the military as an Officer Cadet more than twenty-five years ago, I have not lived ANYWHERE for five full calendar years.

Let me repeat that. I have not lived ANYWHERE for five full calendar years. 

I managed to get six years in Ontario, but lived in two different places (with the option to make that four...which we, as a family, decided against) in that time frame. It's a big province.

So basically, this award is out--likely permanently--because I choose to follow the man I love. And, I might add, have a great adventure doing so.

This is not the first literary award I've looked at that I was not eligible for because of my status as a very mobile military spouse, and it won't be the last. And I have no idea how to fix it. I'm not going to stop moving, and I'm not going to stop writing, and I'm not going to give up on my dream of someday writing something so exceptional as to warrant recognition.

Thankfully there are some awards, the biggies like the Giller Prize, the Governor General's awards and Commonwealth book prizes, where being a resident anywhere in the country is enough. I can dream about those ones. Those are big dreams for far out possibilities.

I know...Perhaps I can be instrumental in advocating for a Military Family Literary Award? In fact, that's a great idea. An award for people like me, who write and move and deal with the unique stressors of life as an author and military spouse.

Anyone want to help me work on that? Make it a nice juicy award with lots of publicity and a huge pot of prize money?

Hey, a girl can dream.

Until then, I need to get back to writing. :)



Brenda

Military Monday: Military Wives Choirs

Happy New Year!

The presents are open, the parties are over and the kids are back to school. Let me just say that you have not seen holiday celebration insanity until you've been closely associated with a military base! It was an amazing season, with concerts and parties and dinners and fun, but I'm so very glad to be getting back into a routine--and back to writing, blogging and a bit of normalcy.

Although I'm not a fan of New Year's resolutions, I am a huge fan of making goals and seeing the fruits of my hard work not only ripen but multiply...and one of those goals is about to be realized! It's a goal that has nothing to do with writing, and everything to do with being a military spouse.

After several meetings and emails and phone calls, much research and a whole lot of luck, this week will mark the inaugural meeting of the Canadian Military Wives Choir Comox! If all goes well, this amazing organization will be setting up shop on my local base, and I cannot wait to be a part of it.

Have you heard of the Military Wives Choir movement? It started just 5 years ago in 2010 when a group of wives (yes, just women) in the UK got together to sing and support one another while their husbands were deployed--a chance to learn, grow and get away from the daily stress of being on their own. The choir grew rapidly with the support of Gareth Malone as their choirmaster, and in  2011 they released their first single Wherever You Are, which shot to number one on the UK charts. There are now more than 80 choirs around the UK and the world.

The first Canadian Military Wives Choir started in 2013 in Ottawa, and the Comox choir will spread the movement to the west coast of Canada. From humble beginnings great things are accomplished. A chorister since my elementary school days, I've wanted to be a part of a choir like this since I saw the Wherever You Are video way back in 2011. So excited to sing with the wonderful people who support those in uniform--Military Wives!

Have you set a New Year's goal? Feel free to share it below!

Brenda

Merry Christmas!

Sorry I've been quiet as of late...just enjoying the hustle and bustle of the pre-holiday season. I've had a wonderful year, and it's all because of YOU--my friends, family and fans--and I just want to say THANK YOU and let you to know how much I appreciate your support. Merry Christmas, or happy Whateveryoucelebrate to you and those you love. See you in 2015 with new things and exciting possibilities!

~Brenda

Military Monday: Civic duty

So this weekend heralded the municipal elections in the province of BC. In Canada, these elections fall under the jurisdiction of the province, and the rules are therefore provincially oriented. Depending on the province, cities and towns vote on a predetermined day every 2,3 or 4 years.

One of the neat things about our current post is the connection we have with the local community. The local mayors are very active in wing/base activities, and the wing supports the community in every way it can. It's a win-win situation that provides huge benefits, and the civilian mayors and councillors are often well known by the military residents.

In my case, for the first time since I left my hometown almost 30 years ago, I actually knew several of the candidates on the ballot--people I've met through different social events and gatherings. I was looking forward to voting for the simple fact that I could finally take my civic duty seriously, and vote for the candidate I truly believed deserved the position. I also have some strong opinions about the school system here, and had researched the school trustee candidates carefully.

When we arrived and registered at the polling station...I proudly marched in beside my husband, British Columbia ID in hand, explaining to my teens how important it was to vote, how it was our duty to make our mark on the local government...

And then I was turned away.

I was not allowed to vote.

Why? Because provincial rules dictate that I have to have lived in the province for 6 months to be eligible to vote here.

I won't lie, I was a bit miffed. Okay, a lot miffed. Other new residents--residents who have lived within the town boundaries for 30 days--were eligible to vote merely because they had come from somewhere else in BC. Whereas I, who actually had an opinion about the candidates and what they stood for, could not.

The nice people at the voting station double checked, just to be sure, and were very helpful, but I left without filling out a ballot, placing my "I VOTED TODAY!" sticker in the trash on the way out.

Instead of proving a point to my teens, I had to explain to them how my vote was not eligible--not allowed.

How is this right?

This rule basically disqualifies all military members and their spouses and adult children posted in or out of the province this summer. That's at least 3 families on my street. Dozens of families on the base. And the same would be true for any base, anywhere in the province. That's a lot of people prevented from carrying out their civic responsibilities, merely because they are military. A significant percentage of the local population.

And with the constant flux of postings (moving every three years), some people will never meet the provincial requirements.

Obviously this is a rule that needs some careful re-consideration if municipalities with Canadian military constituents are to have true representative governments. Military families may not be 'from here' but we are Canadians with the same rights and freedoms as our new neighbours. Although there are other ways to make our opinions heard, the ballot box is one of the best.

Hopefully next time I'll actually be able to make my mark, and will walk away with my "I VOTED" sticker proudly worn on my chest. Hopefully next time, I'll be able to show my kids how proud I am in my local community by carrying out my civic duty to vote.

Because I am proud. I love it here. I'll just have to find other ways to make my mark.


Brenda

Military Monday: Remember

Lewis Ward Love
1895-1918

This man was my great uncle.

I never knew him. Little is known about his life, and even less is known about his death. He never married and had few connections. He died on a field in France, fighting a war that was nearing it's end.

If not for this picture, a few records, a headstone, and some handed-down stories, his very existence would be forgotten. He would fade away, like the thousands and thousands of World War I soldiers who signed up and sailed away, never to be seen again.

Remembering someone you never knew isn't an easy task.

It takes work to force our brains to focus on a picture of a stranger. To imagine how they lived, how they walked, the tone of their voice, their aspirations and dreams. We can find out about them through research, we can visit their gravestones. We can study the history books and ask questions of historians, but in the end, we still know very little.

But yet, it is our duty to understand that this man, like the other nameless thousands, was more than

Near Arras, France 2008

just a pawn in someone else's war. We have to fight to bring his face to mind. To really look at him and understand that whatever small part he had to play, he was there for us.

For you. For me. For our children, and their children.

Tomorrow the Last Post will play for my uncle and others like him who died in the pursuit of peace. The piper will play his lament. The silence will be held and we will bow our heads in a moment of reflection. We will somehow, in our own ways, bring their faces to mind, hear their names called and reflect on their short lives. It's not easy, but we must do it anyway. And we must teach our children to do it as well.

George Santayana is credited with the saying: "Those who do not remember the past are condemned to repeat it." It is of utmost importance that we make the effort to remember these unknown faces. Each and every one of them.

They shall grow not old, as we that are left grow old:
Age shall not weary them, nor the years condemn.
At the going down of the sun and in the morning
We will remember them. ~Robert Laurence Binyon

We will remember them.

Brenda

Military Monday: From Here

Those of you who follow my Facebook posts will have seen the small issue I had with a comment made on my blog last week. (You can find it HERE--scroll to the bottom and click on comments). The comment itself seems harmless enough, and perhaps the commenter, whoever he/she is, didn't fully read my blog post before stating his or her own opinion.

I believe all military spouses are entitled to their opinion and as such, this commenter is entitled to her (or his) own thoughts. I do thank her because she has spurred some lively discussion (and a huge outpouring of support...thank you everyone!) and has caused me to ask some interesting introspective questions.

"...if you aren't from the area (you aren't)...you probably shouldn't be making comments like this if you want to make friends"--Anonymous

Wow.

Just, wow.

Here's the deal. I grew up in small town New Brunswick. Graduated from high school at 16, and haven't lived in my home town since. Not counting inter-city moves on the same posting, I have lived in 16 different places in three different countries since that time. The longest I have lived in one home is three years.

So where am I from?

If I were to move back to my home town (where, incidentally, I still own property), would I feel at home? Would people there say I was from there? Or would they look at me and say I was a foreigner? The truth of the matter is, other than friends I've kept in touch with throughout the years, there are many who wouldn't recognize me. And the town, though the same in some ways, is different in others. I'm sure the wonderful people there still consider me a native, but is that what I think of as home?

Home is a fleeting thought for most military spouses.

It's even worse for military kids. My kids have been with us on all of those moves, so where do they say they are from? One of my children actually thinks of home as 'Grammie and Grampie's place'...where she has never lived.

In reality, we, as military spouses, have willingly given up our roots for the service of our country by choosing to follow our service members wherever they go. Very few military families end up living in their home towns. They live where they are sent, for short periods of time, and then they pack up and move again. As such we are 'from' where we live.

I'll repeat that.

I am from HERE.

I live here. I pay taxes here. My family is here. My furniture, my kids' schools, my job, my grocery store, my pharmacy, my dog, my cat...are all here. In an election, I would vote here.

My home is here.

So I am entitled to an opinion about here. As is every military spouse that lives in this town.

We are here because our spouses have chosen to wear a uniform and stand up for the beliefs that this country, this province and this town hold dear. In a crisis, our spouses would be the first to stand up for here. They would put their lives on the line for every last one of the residents of this place, regardless of where they were born. As would I. It is our civic responsibility--especially as parents--to take part in local educational debates. Our taxes support these schools and we have a right to be involved in their administration.

I even have friends here. Genuine people. Some of whom grew up right here. Do they agree with every one of my thoughts? I don't know. Probably not. But they are my friends because they like me because of who I am, not because they agree or disagree with my opinions. As far as I know, the best way to have a friend is to be one, and those who know me will be aware of my loyalty to my friends. If I were from somewhere else, why would it matter? True friendship has no borders.

Where am I from? Here. And I'm proud to say it.


Brenda

Military Monday: A weekend of Heroes.

This past weekend I was fortunate enough to participate with my husband in a ceremony

Hanging with a hero-Stocky and I
before our flight in the Cessna

commemorating the great Second World War air battle known as the Battle of Britain. Being an ex-Air Force officer and and an RCAF wife, this ceremony is an important one, as it represents the first commitment of the RCAF to combat in WW II. I was part of a contingent which travelled north to Port Hardy--a small community on the northeastern shore of Vancouver Island to participate in the ceremony there. It was a wonderful weekend of fun, camaraderie, sight-seeing and seafood, paired with some serious moments of reflection. The local Air Force Association Squadron welcomed us with open arms, and much fun was had by all. I even had the opportunity to take a flight in a Cessna aircraft over the Queen Charlotte Strait at low enough altitude to see breaching humpback whales and several pods of orcas.

One of the members of our contingent was (and is) a real live Air Force hero. And even better, he was accompanied by his wife of 63 years...who I also think deserves the title of hero for her many years of service to our country behind the scenes.

James Francis "Stocky" Edwards, CM, DFC & Bar, DFM, CD (born June 5, 1921 – ) may not have fought in the Battle of Britain, but he joined the fighting soon afterward, and is one Canada's few remaining WW II flying aces. "Toni", born Alice Antonio, also has a military history, having worn the uniform in the '40s, working in both Communications and the nursing field. 

Young and dapper Stocky Edwards

Although I've only known them for a short time, Stocky and Toni Edwards have made a HUGE impression on me. Humble, kind, selfless and warm-hearted, they are the very essence of the perfect military couple. Seriously. They have been through it all. Postings far from home, long separations and deployments--they lived all of this before I was even a twinkle in my parents eyes.

Toni Edwards in her military days
(From elinorflorence.com).

But these two are so obviously in love, that they have persevered through all of their difficulties and are still living life to the fullest. They are so positive, so happy to be together that I can't help but think, I want what they have. They are true role models for today's military couples, having recognized the military lifestyle for what it was and embraced it--and they continue to embrace it as supporters to 19 Wing Comox and the RCAF. More than 60 years after their marriage, they attend as many of the local events as they can, arriving together and leaving arm in arm.


I'm so fortunate to have the opportunity to spend time with this lovely couple. They are true heroes.

You can find out more about the Battle of Britain on Wikipedia here, and about Stocky and Toni Edwards here and here.

* * *

Want to talk about the life of a 'dependent'? Do you cringe at the very mention of the word (as I occasionally do...part of why my book is so titled...)? Join me TOMORROW for a twitter chat at 12:00 PST, using #dependent to join in! Hope to hear from you!

Brenda

Military Monday: Meet C. R. Asay!

Heart of Annihilation Blog Tour and Interview

Today I'm fortunate to feature a new writing friend as she launches her debut novel: HEART OF ANNIHILATION. Congrats! Ms. Asay is a former Utah National Guard who has turned her focus toward motherhood and writing. A little about her:

C.R. Asay

Bio: C. R. Asay joined the Utah National Guard at the age of seventeen. After spending time in the 625th Military Police Corp she transferred to the 19th Special Forces group as a counterintelligence agent. She retired from the military after marrying her best friend and graduating from college so that she could embark on the most exciting adventure of all; being a mom.

The short story version of her first novel, Heart of Annihilation, earned an honorable mention from the L. Ron Hubbard Writers of the Future contest. C. R. Asay currently resides in West Jordan, Utah, with her husband, four children, and a dog. There is always a dog.

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B: Welcome Christauna! Tell us a bit about yourself. Where are you from?

C: Heber City, Utah. Nothin’ quite like growin’ up in a small town.

B: Tell us about your connection to the military...

C: I joined the Utah National Guard when I was 17. I did my basic training between my junior and senior year of high school and then completed my training after graduation. I remember one guy from my graduating class checking the back of my truck for an M-16 when he heard I’d joined… Still makes me snicker.

I was an in a Military Police EPW (enemy prisoners of war) unit for a while until we were disbanded. After that I joined the 19^th Special Forces group as a counterintelligence agent. I was with this unit until I got out a few years later right after my first child was born.

B: Sounds busy. How has your military background influenced the writing of Heart of Annihilation?

C: My military background is the breath of life behind this work. Heart of Annihilation is a work of fiction, but with a very realistic and accurate military setting.

B: When did you start writing? What led you to writing a full length novel?

C: Writing has always been a part of my life, but it wasn’t until my husband decided to write a novel that I fell in love with the whole process of an actual full-length novel. There is just such detail and scope that goes into a novel that it creates an entire world for readers to explore. I was hooked the 

second I imagined the world that became Heart of Annihilation.

B: I can certainly understand that feeling! Can you describe the process from first words to finished product?

C: I have no process. Someday I hope to have a process, but for now every time I sit down to write I do it differently. I’m usually a pantser, as in I write by the seat of my pants. Whatever comes into my head makes it onto paper and then I revise heavily in the aftermath. Sometimes I’ll write for weeks at a frantic pace, desperate to get the words out. Other times I’ll go for weeks without writing a single new word. I work well under a deadline, so even if the muses aren’t with me, I can usually pound out anything I need to if a deadline is looming over my head.

B: On a scale of zero (nearly impossible) to ten (a dream come true) how would you rate your publishing experiences so far?

C: That’s a tough one. A 7. I love everything about my book. Its very existence seems miraculous to me. I love my publisher and how much work they have put into this book to make it the work of art that it is. I only rate my experience lower because the road here was so incredibly rocky. There were many times, from conception of the book to holding it in my hands, that I wanted to throw in the towel on the whole industry. Heart of Annihilation was shelved several times, and sometimes thrown violently across the room, but the story and the characters were so compelling to me that I would inevitably pull it out, dust it off, revise, revise, revise and try to find it a new home.

B: Any tips on balancing family life with a writing career?

C: Family first, always. My family is so supportive of my publishing efforts. They are truly my biggest fans from my husband, teenager on down to my 1^st grader. And I believe they are this way because I have always put them first. That being said they are happy to give me a wide berth if I’m having one of those crazy writer moments because they know I’ll always come back, happier than before. This year will be a mile stone for me because my youngest will be in 1^st grade, giving me ample time during the day to make writing and publishing a career and giving them my full attention when school is out, rather than cramming in writing here and there, wherever I could fit it in.

B: Do you have any other writing projects on the go at present?

C: I’m working on the sequel to Heart of Annihilation with a tentative release in Summer 2015. I also have an anthology piece coming out on Veterans Day of this year. It is to support the TADSAW (Train a Dog, Save a Warrior) foundation. It’s a collection of fictional stories about working dogs and their connection to their human partners. It’s a fantastic collection. Grab a tissue before you read it.

B: Will do. What is your advice for new authors?

C: The publishing industry is a hard one to navigate. Do the work to learn the craft. Don’t settle for anything less than your best effort and then up your game. Never stop learning and growing. As true with life as it is with writing.

B: Awesome. Cats or Dogs?

C: Dogs. Cats make me sneeze and I love dogs. Always dogs.

B: And the question we’ve all been waiting for…Coffee or Tea?

C: Haha. I’m a Mormon-y type, so hot chocolate. Dr. Pepper if my day is really going wrong.

B: Chocolate is always a good choice! Thanks so much Christauna! And best of luck with your new book!

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More about Heart of Annihilation...

When U.S. Army Specialist Kris Rose catches members of her unit stealing ammunition to kill aliens, she is forced to defend herself with a freakish electrical charge shooting from her fingertips.

Shaken by her newly found power and hunted by vigilantes from her unit, Rose is forced away from her structured, military world and into a fight for her life.

With the aid of her battle buddy, Corporal Thurmond, Rose sets out to learn more about the aliens under attack. In the process, she discovers her bizarre connection to a devastating threat to Earth--an alternate dimensional weapon called the Heart of Annihilation, lost somewhere on Earth.

From a chuteless free-fall from 20,000 feet, to deadly bullet wounds and the unforgiving Sonoron Desert, Kris Rose enters a world where aliens are real. And she might be one of them.

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You can find more about Christauna here: http://www.crasay.com

Don't forget to find her on Amazon, Barnes and Noble and Goodreads!

Brenda

Posting Phase Six: Season of See You Later

Today I begin the long Season of See-You-Laters.

I say season, because goodbye doesn't happen all at once (as most frequent-movers know). It's a process. Sometimes painful (my twelve-year-old's bestest, bestest friends EVER), sometimes celebratory (the twit at the end of the road that tried to hit my dog every time he drove by--yeah, wasn't sad to say goodbye to him on that posting...), each goodbye has a story. Some people I'll remember. Some people I won't. Some friends will be life-long, and some I'll never hear from again.

The process starts long before I pull out of my driveway for the final time. We haven't even gone on a house hunting trip and it's already started here. Saying goodbye starts when I realize I'm not going to be in that part of town again, when I look at my calendar and do a double-take at the surprising lack of time before our drive-out date. I start cramming in coffee dates and dinner parties and last minute meet-ups--slowly at first... But each time I see a colleague, a co-worker, a friend... I recognize it might be your last.

Goodbye is hard.

Hence the See-You-Later.

You see, after twenty-plus years of military friendships, it becomes obvious that goodbye is rarely forever. And with today's social media, goodbye is becoming almost unnecessary. I can Facebook with friends I haven't seen in twenty years and tweet with people from ten different postings. And sooner or later, we'll be posted back together again, so why bother with goodbye?

I prefer 'see ya soon', or 'until next time'. Who knows what will happen?

But today is my last day of work at my day job as a physiotherapist at a long term care facility. A job I absolutely love. I've only been there four months, but I wish, for once, I could stay. It's a perfect complement to my writing career, it pays well, and I get to spend time with amazing people...some of whom are nearly a century old.

I hope 'see you later' will be the right call today, while I'm finishing up paperwork and tidying up my space, because I'd love to see some of these elderly ladies again. They have such wonderful stories. Such interesting histories. Sadly, they don't tweet, and they don't Facebook.

I've still got lots of time in this house/posting (thank goodness!) and I've got lots of time to finish my final coffee dates. I'll be back in this area again, so I'll say see-you-later, and I'll hope that our paths cross again.

Brenda


Like Posting Phases? More to come! Check out the first five here:

Posting Phase Five: The Long Wait

Posting Phase Four: The Stash and Dash

Posting Phase Three: Orders!

Posting Phase Two: Closet Clean-out

Posting Phase One: Real Estate Research

Military Monday: Posting Phase Five

PHASE FIVE: THE LONG WAIT

Everything is ready. The house is clean. The plans are made. The signs are up and our stash and dash is perfected.

But the phone doesn't ring.

The housing market slumps.

And that highly anticipated rapid and insane house sale doesn't happen.

Still waiting...

Sadly, not every house sale goes as planned. No matter how much time you spend thinking about your listing price, no matter how magazine-perfect your rooms are, no matter how many bells and whistles your feature sheet cites, sometimes the right buyer just doesn't materialize. We've been on both ends of the spectrum. We've had a week-long insane buyer's bonanza and we've had the six-month long haul--complete with hubby moving on ahead of us while I try to keep my brain from exploding in a spotless house with three kids and two pets.

Sometimes there's no magic to it. You list aggressively, you clean like Cinderella, and you wait. You lower your price, offer incentives...and you wait.

Patience is a virtue I lack.

There are lots of tips out there for ensuring a quick house sale (like this one from HGTV). But once you've exhausted yourself cleaning out closets and mopping floors and folding your bathroom towels just so, all there is left to do is hang in there and hope and pray for the best. You still have to live in your house.

Unfortunately so does the rest of your family.

Ah, the joys of military posting-hood.


Brenda

Want to read more Posting Phases?  Check them out!

Posting Phase Four: The Stash and Dash

Posting Phase Three: Orders!

Posting Phase Two: Closet Clean-out

Posting Phase One: Real Estate Research

Posting Phase Four: The Stash and Dash

The sign is up on the lawn. You've cleaned and buffed and polished sorted and tidied and fooled yourself into believing the house is ready for showings. But you still live in your house. Your kids still make messes. You still have to shower in your bathroom. Your pets still track in mud and bits of grass. And that coffee is still an essential start to your day.

Then the phone call you've been anticipating (and dreading) comes. A showing! And can these lovely potential home-buyers come in TWENTY-FIVE MINUTES?

Gaaaaaaah! NOOOOOOOOOOO!


Thus begins the phase known as STASH AND DASH. You run around madly with a vacuum in one hand, a damp cloth in the other and dusting rags attached to your feet... while canned cinnamon buns cook at warp speed in the oven. Dirty socks get stashed in closets, pj's under pillows, toothbrushes jammed in drawers, today's breakfast dishes unceremoniously dumped in dishwashers(on top of clean dishes, of course). Items of all shapes and sizes get stuffed in your pockets--coins, pet-hair, hay, toy cars, loose threads, buttons, tissues, dryer sheets, paperclips, pens, pencils...the list goes on and on. Time accelerates until there's nothing to do but give up, hope for the best, and (pets and toddlers in tow) jump into the car and leave.

Inevitably, this is also the time when said pet decides to vomit on your just cleaned carpet. Or your toddler dumps her entire lego collection on the floor. Or a glass drops on the floor, shattering and spewing shards in forty directions, while also denting your not-so-pristene hardwood. Or your basement floods, a flock of geese flies by and spatters your house with ick, the cat runs off with a carpet-thread pulling behind her, the cupboard door falls off of it's hinges or the toilet clogs.

And in the military? This is usually when your husband/spouse takes off for a four month course in the Caribbean, and you are doing it all by yourself while he drinks rum from a coconut in a tiki bar on the beach.

I remember one house showing where the home-buyers showed up half an hour early, and my then eighteen-month-old exploded with the stinkiest poop on the planet just as I noticed them walking in our back yard. Yeah. The aftereffects were smelled for weeks afterwords. Needless to say, our house didn't sell that day.

It's a crazy time, selling a house. You'd think after eight moves I'd have perfected the art of the stash and dash, but every house is different. It's certainly never dull!

I'm sure you have a great house-selling story... ever have someone come into your house unannounced? Have a household disaster the day before a second shown? What's your worst (or best) stash and dash? tell us about it below!

~Brenda

Check out my other Posting Phase Blogs!

Posting Phase One: Real Estate Research

Posting Phase Two: The Closet Clean-Out

Posting Phase Three: Orders!

Posting Phase Three: Orders!

Maybe we could just move here? The Dunnes at
the Universal Studios.

As usually happens, my hubby received his posting orders at the moment he least expected... while standing in line at the Duelling Dragons ride at Universal Studios, Orlando! Ah, the age of modern technology has changed the process quite a lot in our 25+ years associated with the military. Nothing like a buzzing Blackberry as you are staring down uncertain death by Harry Potter Dragon-coaster, to let you know your life is--quite literally--about to turn upside down and topsy turvy.

So...joking aside, we are extremely excited to be moving across the continent this year to beautiful Comox, British Columbia! (Or at least I've heard it's beautiful. The closest I've been is Victoria, about 3 hours south.) For my American friends, Comox is north of Seattle. This is an amazing posting for my hubby, and we're all looking forward to spending time with tall trees, big mountains and ocean beaches. Also looking forward to meeting new friends and reconnecting with old ones on the west coast. The last time I lived out west was for basic training in Chilliwack, BC...25 years ago!

What the posting message really means to us (when Dragon rides and vacation trips are over and reality starts to sink in) is that now we can finally DO SOMETHING about our move. Real estate agents have been called on both sides of the country, appointments have been booked and the ball is rolling toward a summer move. Posting Phase Four and all the others will be coming up soon and it's nice to be moving forward instead of flying circles in a holding pattern. Now if we can just sell our house, I can actually look at the real estate sites with a purpose!

Speaking of which... Must. Go. Clean.

Any one else out there received a posting message? Where are you off too this summer?

Brenda